How ironic that I begin work on this blog just after spending my morning on the phone trying to navigate the tangled, and often useless,  web that calls itself “Provider Service.”  I run a small endocrinology clinic in a St. Paul suburb and have to interact with insurance plans on a regular basis. Yes, my hair is a nice shade of gray, more salt than pepper.

I’ve been in charge of the business side of our clinic for nearly 14 years.  And long before Donald developed Bipolar 1, I had to learn how to manage stress.  However, once we confirmed the diagnosis and began our treatment journey, I have had to call upon my calming tools already in place and add several new ones.

I started yoga classes a few years ago to relieve back and hip pain. A few sessions in and I was hooked.  I finally found something that addressed my physical AND my spiritual needs.  The deliberate movement and attention to breathing allow me to strengthen and relax my mind and body.

Breathing slowly in, using my diaphragm, and then slowly forcing all of the air out of my lungs cleanses my body.  I draw positive energy in and expel everything that is no longer useful to me. Yoga teaches me to be present and over time I have learned to focus on what is happening not what may happen.

Slowing my breathing down really does help – I’m still amazed.  I occasionally wake up in the middle of the night – why is it always between 2 and 4 a.m.? – heart racing.  Sometimes a light sweat is part of the package.  I lay still and slow everything down by taking a deep breath in, slowly counting to four, and then breathing out, again slowly counting to four. My heart rate returns to normal.

Donald and I regularly share books we are reading.  His therapist recommended publications by Henry Emmons, MD.  The Chemistry of Calm addresses anxiety and The Chemistry of Joy looks at depression.  Life changing books.  Truly.

Emmons is a prominent psychiatrist in Minneapolis-St.Paul who practices integrative medicine.  He takes a whole body approach, considering how nutrition, meditation, and mindfulness can impact our health, in addition to behavior therapy and medication.   Donald’s therapist taught him how to meditate and I learned from Dr. Emmons.  

Both Donald and I try to follow the nutrition guidelines laid out in Emmons’ books.  Complex B12 supplements, multivitamins, and fish oil capsules are lined up on our kitchen counter, along with our medications.  We both engage in daily physical activity as well.

I walk two of our three dogs – the Border Collie prefers to patrol our property in lieu of walks with her brothers. Our route takes us through our neighborhood. I focus on the wind blowing through the deciduous and pine trees, the smell of flowers and the sounds of birds chirping.  When my mind starts to try to solve work-related problems or zero in on financial stresses at home, I bring my thoughts back to the present.  

With practice, I have trained myself to assign specific times to think about work, home, kids, whatever.  Usually, that helps keep my mind free of too much clutter.  It also allows me to not waste my time worrying about something that isn’t even real yet.   

Donald began going to yoga with me last fall.  Now he works out with the NHL trainer at his hockey school.  He uses meditation to check in with himself when he feels a surge of energy to see if he can still clear his mind.  If his self-calming efforts work, then he just appreciates his high level of productivity while it lasts.  He also turns to meditation when he experiences self-doubt or other negative thinking.

These are our methods of managing the chaos we face.  

The important thing is to find what works best for you.  And then do it.